Good morning, everyone. I'm here to introduce myself. I'm 28 and my last relationship ended 6 years ago. I know what you're thinking. But I'm not going to talk about the liquid relationships or the emotional unavailability of my generation. Until where I can tell, everybody is very much emotionally available. Just not for me.
What you don't know is that I have a cosmic power given to me by the gods. I instigate love in all those around me. All I have to do is show the tiniest of interests in them. If I am intrigued by someone, if they are not already in a very serious long-term relationship, they'll automatically find someone much prettier and more interesting than me. And I can even feel warm toward the happy couple.
At 28, I sometimes think there is no one left for me. That I'll have to scratch the scraps and gather up the shards of other people. All I wanted was the shards of someone to collect. My therapist tells me that's a symptom of my own emotional unavailability. My horoscope says it's my karma. I myself think it's my power, my curse.
"See?" Afrodite tells me, brushing her long wavy hair away from her shoulders. "Didn't you want to help people? You're spreading love."
In the beginning, I still tried to flirt. She was beautiful, nice and I was sure she was hitting on me. Next week I heard from friends of friends that she was seeing someone else. I bought hot tea and books to distract myself.
I went out with women who told me they were seeing other people right on the first date. I filled my house with flowers to bring good omens.
I was enchanted by people, I was sure it was mutual, but social media denoted couples in love. I started eating only what I really enjoyed.
I asked Afrodite again when my time would come. She smiled, beside me, and blew on my mythologic cards so they would spread all over the floor. I understood what she meant. Mine was only my self-love. Other's love was reserved only for the others. I bought erotic toys in all speeds and bath foam all for myself.
Right now, I have four cats and the security of belonging to nobody. When I see someone whose face I like, I bless them from afar, wishing them a happy life, full of desire.
Yesterday, Afrodite touched my shoulder as I walked down the street thinking about my next book. She sang into my ear to watch out. See who's coming.
"Shut up, Afrodite. Let me fucking work."
This was sort of empowering. Instead of moping, they stopped having time for it all, sort of refused to be a slave to their desires, which seems to have suddenly made them attractive, if only they still cared